


Last Page

by Claine



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Hurt, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I promise to write happier stories, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25802533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claine/pseuds/Claine
Summary: Nicky Doll is thinking about her break up with Gigi Goode in a park.
Relationships: Nicky Doll & Gigi Goode, Nicky Doll/Gigi Goode
Kudos: 7





	Last Page

In a cold and cloudy afternoon, Nicky finds herself sitting on a bench. With a pencil and notebook at hand, she observes and draws people around her as they go along with their day. Some are hurrying to get to their next stop. Some are taking their time, taking in every single step with much gravity. And some are like herself, staying completely still. 

When she decided to walk outside, she half expected herself to be standing in front of her door. Since it was not an option anymore, she went to the second favourite location on her list. It was in this park. In the city that they’ve both grown to love, their kindest memories were not in the bars they worked in or one of their apartments. It was here in the center of the city. The park was the only genuine sentimental tie and remembrance of the city’s history, of what was before all the buildings were built. Whether it was a good day or a bad day, no matter the occasion, one of them would find themself walking through its pathways. Having done this numerous times before, its familiarity was a reassuring feeling when most things were uneasy. It held you close and enabled you to fall deeply and truly feel what your emotions are. 

Today, particularly, was unkind to her. Between her stress at work to what happened just a week ago, not much good has been happening. It’s been seven days since she heard her voice on the phone. Time has passed, but she’s still waking up as if it happened yesterday. The sinking feeling of her reality has been hard to process. She knew that this has been a long time coming. She wished that she could be surprised when it did come. Not all relationships held an expiration date, but theirs did. They’ve been on the brink of it all. It’s been a good seven months. 

Their last conversation had managed to cling to her brain. For the first three days, she threw herself to alcohol. Yet no amount of drinks and drunken nights were able to drown out her words. It was a loud and unnerving conversation that strengthened the inevitable. In between the pauses of their words, you can hear the clear shattering and breaking of hearts combined with failed promises. 

“Are you sure? Is this what you really want?”, Nicky asked, her voice audibly trembling. She forces herself to look up at her. Gigi is staring at Nicky with so much discomfort, sadness, and nervousness. It takes everything for Nicky to stop the urge to hold Gigi in her arms and tell her that everything will be alright. She doesn’t know it herself. Right now, it wasn’t time for comfort. Some conversations needed to be uncomfortable. The silence between them speaks for them. 

“Yes, I'm sure. I’m so sorry, Nicky. I can’t keep doing this.” Gigi says softly. She looks down on the floor in her shoes. She puts her hands to her face, hiding her tears. Nicky places her hand on Gigi’s knee as a show of comfort. 

“We did what we could, right? You tried, I tried. Nothing worked.” Gigi continues to explain. Nicky nods, her turn to look away. Her heart drops as she hears this. She realizes that Gigi has been speaking in the past tense. She had already made her mind. 

“I know, Geege. What if we find another way? I don’t want to give up on us when we could have done something or anything.” Nicky tries to convince her. Her tone with a slight hopefulness. Her words are tumbling over each word, but the message is clear. While Gigi is one step out the door, Nicky is trying to get her back. 

“I...I really...can’t.”Gigi stammers, she scratches her neck. 

“Why not? Do you not want me anymore?” Nicky asked. 

“God knows that I love you. I will always have love for you. Please know that.” Gigi says truthfully. She reaches out to Nicky’s hand. The slight touch is giving her a mask of reassurance. 

“We both moved to this city to figure out who we are, right? I don’t think I can do it with you. I feel lost.” Gigi says, honestly. 

“Okay. I can understand.” Nicky says defeatedly. She shuts her eyes, before her eyes are filled with tears. She can hear Gigi reaching into her bag, evidently looking for something. Nicky opens her eyes and sees Gigi holding her notebook. Most drawings in those pages were of Gigi or them. 

“I think you should get this back. It means a lot to you. I don’t think I should keep it.” Gigi states, placing the leather black notebook on Nicky’s lap. Nicky takes it in her hands. She absentmindedly goes through it. Her last page was a drawing of them resting on their bed after a long Friday night. 

“Okay. Thanks.”Nicky blanks and responds anyway. Before Nicky closes the notebook, she tears up the last page of them. She folds it into four equal parts and hands it to Gigi. 

“Keep this,” Nicky says. A few moments pass without either of them speaking to each other. By this time, most of the people in the park have already left. The sun was covered by the dark rainy clouds.

“Nicky, i’m sorry.” Gigi apologizes. 

“I’m sorry too.” Nicky apologizes. She’s not sure why. 

“I know I have to do this...alone. Please tell Jaida, Jackie, and Crystal that. I don’t think I can.” Gigi explains. Her voice cracking while she speaks. She hopes that Nicky can understand. 

“You are so…” Nicky starts talking, getting interrupted by Gigi. 

“Dumb, selfish, reckless?” Gigi says, filling in with the words she thinks Nicky would use.

“Loved. Remember that.” Nicky states, turning her head to Gigi. Gigi sighs, moving her hand to Nicky’s cheek. 

“You’re not giving me an easy time, huh,” Gigi mutters, speaking to herself more than anything. 

“I know you enough to know that you’re hurting over this too.” Nicky states. Her heart is falling apart before her, but she can’t feel these things right now. She knew that when they got together that Gigi wasn’t ready for it. 

“You’re being too kind to me, Nicky. I’ll be back. I promise you that.” Gigi states, trying to reassure Nicky that she’ll be coming back. 

“Don’t promise these things. Please.” Nicky says, shaking her head.

“Okay,”Gigi responds. Before each of them could say anything to each other, it started to rain. Nicky stood up and smiled at Gigi. She says her goodbyes and walks the other direction, and Gigi goes the other way. 

All stories have a beginning, middle, and end. Nicky didn’t know that back then, but their story was still in the middle of it all. Nicky was sitting in their favorite spot. Gigi was on her way there, taking in every single step with much gravity.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Thank you for stopping by. 
> 
> This is my second sad fanfic lmao. I'm going to write happier ones. I swear!!!!


End file.
